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Transgender(ed) thoughts, Part II
May. 24th, 2007 04:09 am(Read Part I, which has nothing whatsover to do with this entry, here.)
Why is it, I wonder, that when I see someone I feel the need to know their gender? In many cases, it's fairly clear; I suppose that's obvious. But take tonight, at dinner: the person behind me in line was...possibly biologically female but transgendered [note: see Part I for the usage explanation], possibly identifying as female-butch, possibly identifying as female and just somewhat masculine in appearance.... But why do I care?
I'm pretty sure I didn't have any real need to know their biological sex; that's personal, and everyone's welcome to keep that hidden under their clothing. Gender, on the other hand, is public--but it's also complex, hard to define, not the sort of thing I'd expect someone to have written on a nametag or something. Why do I feel--not uncomfortable, I don't think? There's someone I converse with not infrequently at the Diesel (and who's probably reading this--hi there) who's transgendered, and at the risk of sounding like I'm saying some-of-my-best-friends-are, I don't feel any discomfort around said person. (I'm not 100% positive, but I think they prefer gender-neutral pronouns; singular "they" is my gender-neutral pronoun of choice.) For that matter, when![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
colorwheel and I were chatting over AIM while watching an MSNBC hour-long documentary on young transgendered people, I unreservedly found Tayler (née Travis) really hot. But I knew Tayler's gender: female (and, for that matter, I knew her current biological makeup, since she talks about how she's looking forward to having gender-reassignment surgery).
So what's going on when I see people whose gender I don't know? An innate biological pressure to distinguish potential mates from non-? (Except that I don't care what sex the person is, and I've got all the potential mate I need here at home.) A cognitive need to fit things into categories? (Even if it's an ill-defined category?) A linguistic problem, since as I stand in front of this person in line I think to myself, "I'm going to need time to think; I should let [insert pronoun] go ahead of me," and I stumble over the thought if I can't put it in words and I can't put it in words unless I have a pronoun and I can't have a pronoun unless I know the person's gender? (But why not just use singular "them"?)
I have no idea. Perhaps I should reread "Congenital Agenesis of Gender Ideation" and see if it helps.
Why is it, I wonder, that when I see someone I feel the need to know their gender? In many cases, it's fairly clear; I suppose that's obvious. But take tonight, at dinner: the person behind me in line was...possibly biologically female but transgendered [note: see Part I for the usage explanation], possibly identifying as female-butch, possibly identifying as female and just somewhat masculine in appearance.... But why do I care?
I'm pretty sure I didn't have any real need to know their biological sex; that's personal, and everyone's welcome to keep that hidden under their clothing. Gender, on the other hand, is public--but it's also complex, hard to define, not the sort of thing I'd expect someone to have written on a nametag or something. Why do I feel--not uncomfortable, I don't think? There's someone I converse with not infrequently at the Diesel (and who's probably reading this--hi there) who's transgendered, and at the risk of sounding like I'm saying some-of-my-best-friends-are, I don't feel any discomfort around said person. (I'm not 100% positive, but I think they prefer gender-neutral pronouns; singular "they" is my gender-neutral pronoun of choice.) For that matter, when
colorwheel and I were chatting over AIM while watching an MSNBC hour-long documentary on young transgendered people, I unreservedly found Tayler (née Travis) really hot. But I knew Tayler's gender: female (and, for that matter, I knew her current biological makeup, since she talks about how she's looking forward to having gender-reassignment surgery).So what's going on when I see people whose gender I don't know? An innate biological pressure to distinguish potential mates from non-? (Except that I don't care what sex the person is, and I've got all the potential mate I need here at home.) A cognitive need to fit things into categories? (Even if it's an ill-defined category?) A linguistic problem, since as I stand in front of this person in line I think to myself, "I'm going to need time to think; I should let [insert pronoun] go ahead of me," and I stumble over the thought if I can't put it in words and I can't put it in words unless I have a pronoun and I can't have a pronoun unless I know the person's gender? (But why not just use singular "them"?)
I have no idea. Perhaps I should reread "Congenital Agenesis of Gender Ideation" and see if it helps.