Enigmarch 2023: Day 10

[tahnan]

PDF, text below. You can check your answer here.

Enigmarch, Day 10: Everything is Trying to Kill You

Here's the thing. I'm usually finishing these puzzles within shouting distance of midnight, by which time the next day's prompt has come out. So I see that prompt, I go to bed, I go to work, and by the time I get home, I've only got a little bit of time to finish off the day's puzzle before the entire cycle repeats. I feel like I've got a clock looming over me all the time.

So it's appropriate enough that the prompt for Day 10 is HAZARD, because it's not just time pressure that's stressful. Everything is dangerous. Some things are biohazards. Some things catch fire. Some things react when exposed to, like, anything. And all those things you think are harmless? Look:

• Sure, it's just a frui*. But people have allergies. A*d all those seeds...on *he outside? World's tiniest choking hazards.
• Blah bl*h e*o-friendly living with natur* wha*ever. They're aliens. They're uncanny. Y*u're *ot getting me n*ar Pandora.
• I know he's sup*osed to be f*iendly, and I kn*w he's never hurt Emily Elizabeth, but he's freaking huge. The most well-meaning *et can c*use e*ormous havoc at that siz*.
• Suitable for children? Just get into a conve*sation with him, and you risk being bored to literal *eath listening to e*cruciating stories about pigeons and oatmeal.
• I *now it's there to help r*duce t*affic accidents, but go ahead, name anything else *ctagonal. It'* not natural. Thes* thi*gs are up to som*thing.
• Cute, yes. But I cannot imagine swimming around with someone who forgets the most ba*ic inform*tion. An add*ess *n Syd*ey won't help when she forgets you can't breathe water.
• She plays saxophone, but so did Bill *linton. She's vegetarian like Ap*, but so was Charles *anson. Sh*'s smart e*ough to b* up to something.
• Never mind the allergies (*omehow this *riggers a latex allerg*? How does that even wo*k?). No, ev*rything you need to k*ow is right there in the p*el. Pure hazard.
• Arthro*od, crustac*an, whatever: they have claws. Claws! Shellfish allerge*s are one *hing, non-kosher is *nother, but I prefer my food *ot to have literal w*apons.
• Are you kidding? It whisks people away, almost always to dangero*s places, its occupant can't cont*ol it, and it doesn't ev*n make phone c*lls. Run for your life!